Positioning Ourselves for God’s Moves
10/26/2012
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7
I received a phone call from a dear friend today. I could feel her joy as she shared the peaceful resolution of a situation involving her son and grandchild. The two were going to be re-united after being separated a few months ago due to the child’s mother having to move for work-related reasons. The story was riddled with the beauty of God. One of the greatest take-a-ways from the story, however, was my friend’s walk of faith.
From the moment she learned of the move, she went into prayer. She never berated the child’s mother. She didn’t speak against the move. She didn’t even advise against it. Instead, she let the child’s mother know that she was available for her and her grandchild at any time. She also encouraged her son to do the same for that was, she said, “the godly thing to do.”
The move broke my friend’s heart – visibly. The sadness she apparently felt often overshadowed her facial expressions when she spoke of the situation. Still, she gave the matter to God and she gave it to Him with respect in tact. She never questioned the mother’s right to do what she needed to do for the betterment of herself and her child. Most of all, she prayed and asked God to give her the heart she needed for the situation. He gave her one of patience and understanding.
During our conversation this morning, as she shared the plans for the child’s return, I thought of how her faith and trust in the Lord allowed Him to move. My friend was willing to accept the outcome of the situation no matter how it looked. What’s more, she didn’t attach her desires to her prayers. She prayed for God’s best in the situation. She let God be God and by doing so allowed Him to bring a peaceful resolution to the matter. Would she have been just as joyful if the Lord had move in a different way? I am not sure. I do believe, though, that because she released her desires and opened herself to receive God’s heart for the matter, that He would have given her understanding of the outcome. That understanding would have possibly given way to peace.
Are there situations you need to release to the Lord? Are you positioned to receive His best of situations you hold very close to your heart? If not, pause and ask the Lord to help you get to a place where you can. Ask Him for his heart for the matter and then ask Him to show you how to trust Him through the situation. Don’t forget to the thank Him for the experience. I am convinced that if you give God an opportunity to be Who He is, He will give you understanding and even more importantly, He will give you godly peace. What could possibly be more comforting than that?
This Is How We Do It!
10/24/2012
Valuing A Grandmother’s Touch
Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. ~ 1 John 3:18
One night during a visit from my mother, I went to turn the light off in my twin sons’ room. As I reached for the switch, I heard one of my sons say, “Don’t turn it off, Mom. We’ll get it.” His voice came from his brother’s side of the room. Caught off guard a bit, I looked in to see what was going on. From under the covers popped three heads…two little ones and one adult sized one. All three laughing.
“We’re praying, Mom,” one of my sons chuckled.
“Yeah, Mom,” the other one said. “We’ll turn the light off when we’re finished.”
My Mom said, “We’ll be finished in just a moment. I’ll turn the light off on my way out.”
A bit concerned, I said, “Mom, don’t let the boys keep you up. You need to get some sleep.”
“Oh, Drea!” she said, “This is how we do it! We’ll be fine. Now, let us finish.”
There was a time when I would have left the room pouting a bit thinking my mother was not acknowledging my authority as a mother. Not this time. This time I saw a welcomed touch of love that I pray will forever rest in my sons’ hearts. As they are getting older, I realize that sometimes they may need to talk to someone other than me or my husband. If one of those people can be my mother, their grandmother, what a beautiful example of family love that would provide for them.
I don’t, to this day, know what they prayed that night. But, about fifteen minutes after I left them with the lights still on, I heard my mother tip-toeing downstairs. The voices of my children called out to her until she likely couldn’t hear their pledges of “Goodnight. I love you, Mee-Maw” anymore.
I said my own prayers that night. Among them was one of gratitude for a mother who had such a heart for her grandchildren that she would crawl in bed with them, pull covers over their heads and take them before the throne of the Lord in prayer. Should they have gotten on their knees? I didn’t even bother to entertain the thought. Instead, I made a note to remember to do the same with my children in the future and – if I’m really good – I’ll know to do the same with their children should the Lord so bless me to live to see them.
Family members who love and care for us and our children are blessings. Grandparents, especially, who love with full hearts and open arms are valued gems that we should all treasure. If you have someone in your life who shows you and/or your children unconditional love, thank them for their care and find a way to return it in such a way that your children will know to value love and not take it for granted.
I am not certain if my children remember that night with my mom. She has given them so many other precious memories. I will, however, forever hold it dear thanking God and her for such a beautiful example of loving children their way. I, too, now want to exclaim “this is how we do it!” as often as I can. I pray I do it with the beauty, grace, laughter, peace and love of my mother. Thanks for doing it the way you do it, Mom. Your way is a beautiful way.
Aunt Joyce and Big Boy, The Squirrel
10/21/2012
Lessons for Life
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11
While visiting my mother in Texas this past summer, my sons and I went with her to visit one of her aunts. Although Aunt Joyce was recovering from knee surgery, her eyes sparkled as she shared stories of her childhood providing me with wonderful insights into our family history that I had wanted to discuss for some time.
The stories were touching. Her mother – my great-grandmother – died when she three years old. Her father then set out to raise her and some of her siblings on his own. Her voice softened as she spoke of the man who apparently cared deeply and well for her. She said he was her hero. She lost him to what she believes was an incident rooted in hatred when she was ten.
Papa, as she called him, was walking home from work one day when a man fatally struck him with a vehicle. Though it was never proven, many people in the family suspected the incident was racially motivated. Papa was white and Little Mama, Aunt Joyce’s mother, was mulatto. Even though Little Mama had died seven years prior to Papa’s death, many people in the community never forgave Papa for marrying a black woman. That was a sad day for Aunt Joyce as she not only lost her best friend and protector, but life as she knew it changed drastically as she was separated from her siblings and placed in the care of a relative.
She talked for a while about the taunts and insults she endured as a teenager. How neither blacks nor whites accepted her. Although she was black, her silky straight hair and fair complexion spoke more of her white heritage. Blacks held that against her. Whites couldn’t overlook the beautiful honey notes in her complexion that reflected the blackness she never denied. She lived a lonely life as a bi-racial teen growing up in a highly segregated southeast Texas community. Having grown up in the area, I could well imagine the difficulty she endured.
When recounting the story, her voice never broke. There were hints of sadness and notes of regret here and there, but the tone of her conversation seemed rinsed with tilts of forgiveness. She laughed and smiled at the memory of her beautiful father and her eyes danced as she spoke of the many children the Lord blessed her with as an adult. Her entire demeanor bespoke peace and love. She had moved past it all and come to a place of strength, beauty and acceptance. She had even placed her desire to move back to the country on a shelf. She was feeling as though she was too old to care for a home in a rural setting.
I could see her in that setting. It was the backdrop of my upbringing. The place I call home even though I moved to the city myself many years ago. It is also the setting that I recall some of my fondest memories of one of my favorite people ever: my grandmother; Aunt Joyce’s older sister and my mother’s mother. She was so loving and gentle, very much like Aunt Joyce, that when she died all the flowers and trees in her yard wilted. It’s as though they felt her departure from the earth. We understood their reaction for her death took our breath away as well. All of us: her husband, her children, her many grandchildren, her sisters, brothers, family and friends. She was loved beyond measure and returned it with abundance.
After listening to Aunt Joyce that day, my love for her and for my late grandmother grew. I had a renewed appreciation for being their descendant and felt a greater measure of strength. I was also encouraged to look for ways to move past offenses I may have encountered from others so that I could live as my late grandmother had and as Aunt Joyce does: lovingly at peace and peacefully loving.
When preparing to leave Aunt Joyce’s house that day, my sons ran into her apartment. They had been outside on her terrace looking around. Their excitement was obvious as they rushed through the door saying, “Mom, Mom, you’ll never believe what happened! A squirrel just came up to us and stood at our feet. He didn’t move. He just stood there!”
Seeing their excitement, Aunt Joyce began laughing. She said, “Oh! He just wants some peanuts. We buy them for those little critters and they come for them when they are hungry.” She thought for a moment and added, “I wish you could have seen Big Boy. He would ring our doorbell when he came. He would take six peanuts one at a time. As I gave the peanuts to him, he would put one on each side of his mouth until he had three peanuts on each side. He would then scutter away. He hasn’t been here for a while. I hope he’s okay.”
“You give the squirrels peanuts?” one of my sons asked.
“And they ring the doorbell?” another chided disbelievingly.
Aunt Joyce just laughed saying, “Yes. They are not as scary as you may think.”
The words went deep upon hearing them. How many things that appear frightening are not as scary as we think; be them situations involving furry little friends or something bigger like painful memories or the loss of a loved one? I wonder if Aunt Joyce would say the same thing about the difficult life situations and painful memories she’s experienced.
Based on the love witnessed through her words and her demeanor that summer day, I think her answer to that question would be a resounding ‘Yes!’ Through her actions she reminds us to be gentle with the things that frighten us; give them a little attention before they do any damage. It’s like feeding little furry things that could eat the wires in our homes. Through our love they learn to ring the doorbell and scutter away once attended to.
Taking a Load Off
10/19/2012
Ever feel as though you’ve worked through some of your ‘main’ issues in life only to find out that you really haven’t? I recently had that experience and it was quiet surprising. I was praying with a friend, when I was suddenly overcome with emotion. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I was so startled over my reaction that, for a moment, all I wanted to do was apologize to her. Then, I realized how such an outburst likely meant that I was holding a lot of stuff inside that needed to come out.
Fortunately, my friend was very understanding and has a long standing relationship with the Lord. She quickly encouraged me to do some inner searching on the cause of the outburst. She felt it may be connected to a backlash of fear that I didn’t want to address. Later, when seeking answers in prayer, the issues the Lord brought to my attention seemed to fall into two categories.
The stuff that fell into the “I Really Don’t Want to Deal With this Ever” category, dealt with past sins that were extremely painful to re-visit. I know I am not the same person I was then. Still, some of the decisions I made in my twenties as well as situations I allowed myself to get into were truly shame-filled. To recount those memories would take me to a place I preferred to never travel again. Still, through my brief emotional ‘meltdown’ God was letting me know that it was time to unload them.
The “Wow, This is Too Heavy for me to Deal With!” category, was brimming over with emotionally charged experiences that I felt ill-prepared to address. So, I either marked them up as “That’s how life goes. I’ll just have to accept the situation and move on”; or, I tucked away the pain somewhere deep inside and prayed it would never surface again. As a Christian, I should have known the Lord would never let something so heavy stay locked inside of me when it doesn’t have to. It’s an unnecessary burden.
The past mistakes…painful as they were…were easy to identify. For those it was a matter of forgiveness. I could accept God’s forgiveness, but I struggled forgiving myself. The other issues dealt with fear; real fear. Fear of losing my husband after a serious bout with disease. Fear of our life not coming together as planned. Fear that my sons may take a bad path in life. Fear of experiencing lack. Not being able to find a job should I ever decide or need to work again. They were real fears that needed real attention.
The crazy thing about the fear issues is that I knew I had them. I just chalked them up as normal and never thought to give them to God. But, when looking for the answer to moving past them, that was it: Give all of them to God. I needed to cast my burdens on the Lord and trust that He would sustain me. (Psalm 55:22). After listing them all on a piece of paper, I studied each of them for a moment, prayed over the removal of any deposit of fear any of them may have left within me, and then, I asked God to take them off me. I also asked Him to let me know if or when I was allowing any aspects of those issues back into my life through a thought, an action, a spoken word, etc.
I have felt myself wanting to pick them up again. In those instances, I tell myself that any outcome is possible, but no matter what comes my way, God is big enough, powerful enough and almighty enough to see me through it. The situation may hurt. It may not be an experience I want or expect. The circumstance(s) may take me out of my comfort zone. Still, God can not only handle the matter, He can put value to it. Just like He did with the very situation that led to the identification and release of all that stuff I was holding inside of me.
The exercise of identifying and releasing those burdens was spiritually and emotionally therapeutic. The hurts and disappointments were not easy to greet again. There was a job termination, the laying down of a wonderful career, and, pains suffered in the roles of being a wife, mother, sister and friend. There were heartbreaks, heartaches, defeats and the overwhelming feeling of professional demoralization. It felt as heavy as it all sounds. Fortunately for me, my God is big enough to take on the full load of it all. I’m extremely grateful to Him for doing so.
Are you burdened down with past hurts, disappointments, and/or sins? Are there feelings within you that you feel are too painful to revisit; they’re better left unattended? If you answered yes to either question, I encourage you to cast your burdens on to the Lord. Let Him sustain you.
Take a moment and ask God to walk with you through a moment of identification and release of any issue you’re holding within. Let Him take the load off. He is truly big enough, strong enough and mighty enough to handle it. Most of all, He’s faithful to hold you and love you through the process. Give Him a try…He won’t let you down.
God’s Heart for Mine
10/16/2012
My husband wanted to take a picture with me last evening. He first tried to take the picture with his camera, but that didn’t work. Either his head or mine was cut out of the shot. We then called one of our sons to take the picture for us. Our 14-year old did a pretty good job considering he was working with poor lighting.
We had fun working so hard to get what turned out to be just an ‘okay’ shot. Still, love was captured. While that in itself was memory worthy, a different thought left its imprint on my heart: after 15 years of marriage, my husband wanted to put our love on film. The thought filled my heart with gratitude.
He and I have come a long way. I’m not sure how much our marriage has changed him. He always seemed to have a better handle than I on the challenges we have faced. As for me, well…how far is the East from the West? That’s how far I feel I am from the person I used to be. I am so grateful to have changed, especially since I didn’t feel I needed to change during any of the situations that changed me. Had I stayed in those places of suspicious thought, accusation, doubt, and insecurity I’m not sure if we would have a love worth capturing. Actually, in the process of securing my marriage, I realized those thoughts and their subsequent actions are not indicative of love. They spring from distrust and insecurity and will destroy a marriage if not effectively dealt with.
When looking at our picture last night, the physical changes I’ve experienced in the last 15 years were evident…especially the additional 15 to 20 pounds of change that I am now wearing =). The most significant changes, however, took place in my heart. Those changes were truly gifts from God. Of course, they didn’t feel that way when I was experiencing them. But, through the difficult times of doubt, uncertainty, disappointment and coming to terms with a reality that differed from my wants and expectations, spending time with God became a source of comfort.
In seeking answers to the feelings of loneliness and uncertainty, He showed me His heart for me as well as for my husband. That latter vision led me to begin praying a prayer that became key to changing my heart. That prayer was/is simply: “Father, in the name of your son, Jesus, give me your heart for my husband. Let me love him as you love him, unconditionally and completely.” Slowly over the years, God began to reveal the roots of attitudes and behaviors my husband displayed that I would often judge as “less than godly” or “problematic”.
First, God told me to stop judging my husband. He then began showing me the reasons behind my husband’s points of view. Through His Holy Spirit, God then led me to a new way of praying. Instead of asking Him to “change” my husband, God told me to pray for the healing of wounds and disappointments my husband suffered that impacted his outlook on life. I was witnessing the residual effects of hurts gone unattended. God diligently let me know that I needed to pray the same – the healing of deep rooted wounds and disappointments – for myself. For I, too, exhibited behavior that was ‘less than godly’ and ‘problematic’.
As I accepted God’s heart, God’s view, and God’s prayers for my husband (and for myself), my disposition toward him changed. I not only had a greater measure of compassion for him, but the possible purpose for God joining us together became clearer. In that transition from ‘accuser’ to ‘intercessor’, my love for my husband grew to a far deeper level than I knew was possible. Along with the titles of wife, friend and mother to his children, I started the journey of becoming one of his ‘great praying defenders’ as well. It’s a title I take seriously and a journey I found to be worth taking. I’m still traveling that path and still learning as I go.
Are you in a difficult place in your marriage? Are there attitudes or behaviors your husband displays that you don’t understand? Does he sometimes get on your last nerve? Instead of judging him or his actions, ask God to show you His heart for him and ask Him for His prayer for him. You may be amazed at the level of compassion you’re capable of feeling and the rekindling of love the Lord will place in your lives.
I continue to be dazed by God’s faithfulness. When I love as He has asked me to; I get a fresh glimpse of the depth, width, height, and comfort of God’s love and it seems boundless. When I love as He loves, what I feel takes my breath away. The feeling is kind of like my husband reaching out at the end of a very busy day to take a picture with me after 15 years of marriage. Even though my physical beauty has changed, there’s something there that draws him. In this instance, I am convinced he’s drawn by the beauty of God’s heart overshadowing mine.
I would show you last night’s picture, but I feel it’s a special token between my husband and me. But, next time, maybe…as I pray there will be one. 🙂
Anointed Thought 