Anointed Thought

Ever feel as though you’ve worked through some of your ‘main’ issues in life only to find out that you really haven’t?  I recently had that experience and it was quiet surprising.  I was praying with a friend, when I was suddenly overcome with emotion.  I couldn’t hold back the tears. I was so startled over my reaction that, for a moment, all I wanted to do was apologize to her.  Then, I realized how such an outburst likely meant that I was holding a lot of stuff inside that needed to come out.

Fortunately, my friend was very understanding and has a long standing relationship with the Lord.  She quickly encouraged me to do some inner searching on the cause of the outburst.  She felt it may be connected to a backlash of fear that I didn’t want to address. Later, when seeking answers in prayer, the issues the Lord brought to my attention seemed to fall into two categories.

The stuff that fell into the “I Really Don’t Want to Deal With this Ever” category, dealt with past sins that were extremely painful to re-visit.  I know I am not the same person I was then.  Still, some of the decisions I made in my twenties as well as situations I allowed myself to get into were truly shame-filled.  To recount those memories would take me to a place I preferred to never travel again.  Still, through my brief emotional ‘meltdown’ God was letting me know that it was time to unload them.

The “Wow, This is Too Heavy for me to Deal With!” category, was brimming over with emotionally charged experiences that I felt ill-prepared to address.  So, I either marked them up as “That’s how life goes. I’ll just have to accept the situation and move on”; or, I tucked away the pain somewhere deep inside and prayed it would never surface again.  As a Christian, I should have known the Lord would never let something so heavy stay locked inside of me when it doesn’t have to. It’s an unnecessary burden.

The past mistakes…painful as they were…were easy to identify.  For those it was a matter of forgiveness.  I could accept God’s forgiveness, but I struggled forgiving myself. The other issues dealt with fear; real fear.  Fear of losing my husband after a serious bout with disease. Fear of our life not coming together as planned.  Fear that my sons may take a bad path in life.  Fear of experiencing lack.  Not being able to find a job should I ever decide or need to work again.  They were real fears that needed real attention.

The crazy thing about the fear issues is that I knew I had them. I just chalked them up as normal and never thought to give them to God.  But, when looking for the answer to moving past them, that was it:  Give all of them to God. I needed to cast my burdens on the Lord and trust that He would sustain me.  (Psalm 55:22).  After listing them all on a piece of paper, I studied each of them for a moment, prayed over the removal of any deposit of fear any of them may have left within me, and then, I asked God to take them off me.  I also asked Him to let me know if or when I was allowing any aspects of those issues back into my life through a thought, an action, a spoken word, etc.

I have felt myself wanting to pick them up again.  In those instances, I tell myself that any outcome is possible, but no matter what comes my way, God is big enough, powerful enough and almighty enough to see me through it.  The situation may hurt.  It may not be an experience I want or expect.  The circumstance(s) may take me out of my comfort zone.  Still, God can not only handle the matter, He can put value to it.  Just like He did with the very situation that led to the identification and release of all that stuff I was holding inside of me.

The exercise of identifying and releasing those burdens was spiritually and emotionally therapeutic.  The hurts and disappointments were not easy to greet again.  There was a job termination, the laying down of a wonderful career, and, pains suffered in the roles of being a wife, mother, sister and friend.  There were heartbreaks, heartaches, defeats and the overwhelming feeling of professional demoralization.  It felt as heavy as it all sounds.  Fortunately for me, my God is big enough to take on the full load of it all.  I’m extremely grateful to Him for doing so.

Are you burdened down with past hurts, disappointments, and/or sins? Are there feelings within you that you feel are too painful to revisit; they’re better left unattended?  If you answered yes to either question, I encourage you to cast your burdens on to the Lord.  Let Him sustain you.

Take a moment and ask God to walk with you through a moment of identification and release of any issue you’re holding within.  Let Him take the load off.  He is truly big enough, strong enough and mighty enough to handle it. Most of all, He’s faithful to hold you and love you through the process.  Give Him a try…He won’t let you down.